That’s All Folks!

Well I can officially say I did it. I can’t believe I stayed in Kazakhstan for 6 full weeks! Two of which were spent all alone with Leah. I have never really lived alone before much less in a strange country!

At times, living here was harder than you can imagine. Especially with Davis sick. I was so worried about him and knew the doctors in Aktobe were not western trained doctors. There were times I didn’t think I could take one more day. I thought what have I done! Leah was crying when I left the room, Davis only wanted me because he was so sick. We pressed on, and things worked out.

My time alone with Leah was valuable and I will cherish this time. She has been a trooper through this life changing event, and it shows the amount of love and care she has received in her early months of life.

Living in Kazakhstan has helped me appreciate everything I have. It has also taught me how to live simpler. It has shown me how proud I am be to be an American! It has also given me a new appreciation for home and my family and friends. Like Dorothy says on the Wizard of Oz, “There is no place like home.”

This process was flawless from an adoption standpoint. I give my adoption agency and the in-country staff credit for having everything go so smoothly. I wish Kazakhstan, as a country, had a different process for adoption, but that is beyond anyone’s control.

Words can’t even express how much I want to get home! I can’t wait to see Milon, Davis, my family and friends. I have missed everyone terribly!

Now, one last hurdle…the airplane ride home! Once we enter the US, Leah will officially become a citizen of the United States!!

So, with all of that being said, I have some new vows to put forward:

I vow to never complain when the temperature dips below 30 degrees
I vow to never complain when my dryer shrinks an article of clothing
I vow to never complain about carrying my groceries from the garage to my kitchen
I vow to never complain about walking in high heeled shoes out to dinner
I vow to never complain there is nothing on TV
I vow to never complain about being bored at home
I vow to never complain about being hot inside my house
I vow to never complain about linoleum, as long as it is not peeling
I vow to never complain when I am on a long line at Target
and finally, I vow to never complain about the airplane ride to California!

Now we can finally start the beginning of our new life…life with 2 kids. I am sure it will be difficult at first as we all adjust to this new life. It reminds me of a saying from my favorite movie Hope Floats “Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up.”


See you on the "other side" my friends!

The End is Near

I am already starting to worry about the 19 hour plane ride home. Leah is very active, let’s just call it that. There is no grass growing under her feet! I have tested Benadryl on her and it didn’t seem to make her sleepy. Think babies can take Ambien? Valium? Just kidding. Well, really I am not. I got a taste of what the flight was going to be like from the 15 minute car ride home from the mall! She couldn’t sit still! I do remember Davis being like this also and was always jealous when I saw a mom sitting with a quiet baby. I just thought one out of my two children would sit still! I need to switch my focus to Milon’s advise. “Think of it like childbirth, it will eventually end.” Good advise, but I say “Where’s my epidural?”

Leah woke up with a new tooth this morning! Hmmm, could this explain some of the whinning we have been having lately? We shall see, although I she has 25 more to go!

Today we went to the Green Market with Kate, Elise and her 3 yr old Sabina. The Green Market is full of small shops and fruits and vegetables. I bought a couple toys to occupy Leah on the plane home. We then went to the Zoom Store and Kate helped us by some souvenirs. Leah let Kate hold her today without crying! She was actually smiling and laughing with her. Yeah, she is already starting to become more secure. Elise’s new daughter Sabina is a total gem. She is always smiling and sits so well in the stroller! She is really a very sweet girl and makes me want to adopt a 3 yr old! She just said goodbye to all of her nannies and friends yesterday morning! I can’t believe how well she is doing with all of the new sounds, faces and experiences she is having.

This is my last full night in Almaty! I went to the grocery store today and picked up a bottle of wine to celebrate and will have pasta and watch Sex and the City!

Angel Vs Devil

This is what I have been feeling like lately. The devil telling me "Susan, you have been away from home for so long, you deserve to leave early...even if it's 1 day and more expensive. Just do it!' Then the Angel saying " Yes, but you have spent so much money already, how bad is staying 1 extra day?" Then the Devil says, "Yes, but that flight gets you home when Davis is still up so he can pick you up from the airport." Angel says " Yes, but the earlier flight doesn't have 2 extra seats beside you." Devil says "Yes, but Elise is on that flight so you will have someone to fly to Frankfurt with."

Okay, enough with that...see where I am going.

Well my friends, the devil has spoken and I shall listen. I am leaving early! Yes, I will arrive in RDU at 7:40pm! It does mean that i have to be at the airport at midnight but who cares, I will be heading home!

Something funny happened last night around 2am. I have been sleeping with 2 pillows and grabbed one to turn over. Next thing I know the pillow broke in half and feathers spilled everywhere! I had to turn on the light and carefully take the covers off and the sheet to contain the feathers. I grabbed the camera to take a picture because it looked like I had killed a chicken in my bed! In one picture below, the other half of the pillow still has the pillowcase on it in the top left hand side!

We went for a walk today and Leah has a new habit of pulling off her hat. She pulled it off while we were walking and dropped it without me seeing it. I noticed that the hat was missing when we got back to the entrance of the apartment, raced back along our tracks to see if I could find it. Literally, it had only been maybe 2 minutes from the time I knew she had the hat on, till I noticed it missing. I traced back the steps and the hat was already gone! I was so upset because this is the same hat I had been taking all of her pictures in at the babyhouse. I wanted it for a keepsake! I will have to run out to Children’s Place and see if they still have one when I get home.

Leah is a Christina Aguilara fan. She is into the music videos! I was flipping through the channels and heard one of Christina’s songs. Leah crawls over to the TV and stands up and starts singing with her! So I then left the music channel on and she entertained herself for 30 minutes! That is how much this child loves music!

We met up with Elise who adopted her daughter Sabina who is 3 yrs old. What a sweet and cute girl! We went to the Ramstore Mall and killed sometime looking around and had dinner. We got pizza and Sabina loved it! She ate 2 slices! Her mom and I shared war stories, personal stories, and mommy stories. Leah only sat still for 2 things. To chew on my watch, and eat a piece of bread. I am glad I didn't look down until after I had finished eating because there was a roach eating bread that had fallen on the floor. YUCK! We are meeting up with them tomorrow which will be fun.

Bon Appetit

I wasn’t able to post yesterday. Actually, I was able to but I had nothing to write! We didn’t leave the apartment because my heel is hurting. I woke up with pain so we played inside. Today, it is still hurting but need to see some sunshine, even if it means hobbling to the grocery store.

I am choosing to stay in Almaty 1 extra day. Yes, this is crazy, right. I had prebooked flights with frequent flier miles to return on Friday. I have great connections, leave at 9:40 am instead of the middle of the night, and have bulkhead seating. I also have 2 extra seats beside me since my Mom and Davis left early. I contacted the travel agent to check an alternative flight for Thursday and it was a flight that left at 2am, went to Astana first which would mean 2 extra hrs on a plane, and I wasn’t guaranteed bulkhead or empty seats beside me! Plus, I would have to pay about $1,700 more. So being the frugal consumer that I am, I decided to not leave Thursday but leave on Friday. But believe, me my heart is telling me otherwise!

I am having sleeping problems with Leah now. She woke at 3:30 this morning. I should have not rushed in to get her but I did. She wanted a bottle and went back to bed. Tonight, I am going to try letting her whine for a few minutes to see if she will go back herself. She then got up at 5:30 stayed up for an hour, went back to bed and got up at 8. Then took another nap at 10. I think she would rather cat nap all day. This might be from the babyhouse schedule. She gets so whinny it is impossible to leave her up! At home, there will be more entertainment to keep her busy and awake. I am just trying to make it through these last 5 days and will worry about her schedule when I get home. She will be so confused anyway with the time change.

Marina came over so I could fill out some Embassy paperwork. Our interview is on Wednesday at 3:00. Supposedly, I just need to sign some documents and they hand me her Kazakhstan passport, Visa and other official adoption paperwork. Then we are free at last!

Marina had mentioned going to the mountains on Tuesday with the other family that is arriving tomorrow. That would be a lot of fun! It’s a single lady who is bringing her 3 yr old she adopted from Kaz and adopting a baby. Now is the time I wish Davis was still here! He would love to have a playmate!

We didn’t do very much today. We went to the grocery store (hopefully the last run) this morning. We then came back for lunch and naps. Later, we walked on the pedestrian walkway to find the Green Market. Supposedly, everything is very cheap and I am looking for a couple new toys for the airplane. I never found it as we got sidetracked at a new mall on the way! By that time, Leah was about done in the stroller.

We came back for dinner. Leah is such a good chewer that I decided I would try pasta and corn for dinner. I am so tired of the smell of that Beef Stew she likes! It smells like dog food! Here are pictures from our experiment. Let’s just say it was very messy and a bath followed immediately! From experience I removed all of her clothes and cleaned the floor beforehand!

Here is where we started with just corn. Not so bad, right!

Then added the Spaghetti!

Then came the bath!

This is Leah's famous "hands in the mouth." She does this everytime she is tired and when she goes to sleep! Here she is trying to taste the bath water!

Rambling From Almaty

As far as adjusting and bonding goes, I think Leah is doing wonderfully. She makes great eye contact with me, loves to be held (would prefer this over everything!), and loves to laugh and play with me. She goes to sleep wonderfully, actually better in the pack and play than in the full size crib. She might whine for 5 mins, but she is asleep pretty fast. She is even getting to the point where she will play for a few minutes before falling asleep. The only “issue” we are having is she won’t let anyone else hold her and she won’t let me leave the room! I have lessened the leaving the room issue by making a game of it. She cries and starts crawling towards the kitchen and I hide around the corner and play peak-a-boo. She then laughs and thinks it’s a game. Hopefully, she will put it together that I haven’t left! I am hoping once we are settled at home that the separation anxiety goes away also. I can imagine how fearful she must be, to be taken out of the world as she knew it. She is clinging to me as her lifeline right now and hopefully she will feel more secure as time passes. She is so bad that when a stranger is around she grabs hold of my hair! The only person she has not cried with is our driver here in Almaty. He has held her twice and she didn’t cry either time. I am curious to see if it is because he is a man, or because he holds her away from him so she can only see me. She might associate women with her caregivers at the babyhouse and think they will take her away. I don’t believe she has ever seen a man (other than Milon). It will be interesting to see how she reacts to other men. I can say, if the attention is on her terms, she is much better. For instance, the lady on the airplane. I bet she would have let her hold her. I am not sure though.

Kate, my translator gave me some interesting facts on Kazakhstan. She said the average person makes $120 per month. This would include retail people and bus drivers. She said most people have their apartment given to them from when the former Soviet Union gave all their citizens apartments. She said that the average utility bill for electricity, water, and gas is $60. That leaves $60 a month for food, clothing and misc expenses! Groceries are not any cheaper here than in the US! Can you imagine feeding your family on $60 per month! She said this is why you see a lot of people begging for money. They simply cannot survive on such little income. Especially older folks who cannot work. She also said that Doctors make very little money here. She said her mom is a dentist and makes $180 per month! That is not much higher than a bus driver! She said it is still considered a prestigious job, but is equal in pay to a teacher. She said most people who have the money often give the doctors a tip to help them out.

We also talked about the clothing here. I couldn’t understand why the clothes are of such poor quality and are so expensive! I told her that everything in US if from China also. She said that our clothing comes from Hong Kong and Kazakhstan gets clothing that is made in small factories on the border of China and Kazakhstan. She said she has all of her clothing from the US from being a flight attendant and from escorting babies to the US.

We had a bad night last night. Leah woke at 1:00am hungry. She had a bottle and some cereal with prunes and then I tried to get her back down. She wanted to play. In fact, I laid her in my bed hoping she would fall asleep and instead she decided to climb on me. She then went to my face and I got a big sloppy wet kiss on my mouth! I had to start laughing even though by this time it was 3am! She finally went back to sleep at 5am only to wake at 6am by the garbage truck. They woke me up also, they were so loud! Then we went back to sleep until 7:30. Needless to say, I am tired today and fighting a sore throat. Leah has been having 3 naps a day instead of 2 longer ones. She will only sleep for 1 hour intervals and by 4pm she is exhausted. This will have to change when we get home, but for now it works fine.

It is very noisy around here. There are a ton of wild dogs and cats running around. You can actually see some that are from the same litter that have formed a pack. They don’t bother anyone, except me when I am trying to sleep! They bark all night and then I hear cats fighting the rest of the night. I have been closing my window because it is so loud. I can’t imagine living here and listening to this all the time.

Last night, I made a big bowl of pasta with spaghetti sauce (yes, they do have spaghetti sauce in Almaty) and watched the movie “The Assassination of Jessie James.” The movie was just okay. I figure I have enough new movies here to last me until Thurs night! These are the collection of movies Milon bought for $1 in China that we haven’t had time to watch in 2 years! Here is the line-up. Tell me if any of these are not worth watching!

Fri- Flags of Our Fathers

Sat- There Will Be Blood

Sun-Vantage Point

Mon- American Ganster

Tues-Bourne Ultimatum

Wed- Onion Movie

Thur- Sex and the City (yes, i have seen this and will watch it again!)

I did see a beautiful German Shepherd running off leash with his owner. It reminded me of Greta, and yes, I actually miss her! I think Leah is going to really like her as she has been very interested in all the dogs we have seen.

Leah and I went to the Ramstore today. There is an entire 3rd floor dedicated to souvenirs! I bought her a t-shirt that says Kazakhstan on it. I will go back in the next few days to look some more. There were so many things, it was overwhelming, not to mention we went to close to lunchtime!

Lovin' Almaty!

We woke up this morning to the smell of fresh air! Spring has sprung in Almaty and the weather is gorgeous! I would say about 68-70 degrees. I am in a long sleeve shirt, no jacket and am hot! We had breakfast and went to the grocery store again. It will take awhile to stock up so I don’t have to carry multiple heavy things at one time. I found the ergo works much better for grocery store runs. My arms are free to carry the groceries and Leah doesn’t complain. In fact, I hum songs and she dances the entire way swaying side to side and clapping hands.

A girl at the grocery store and I had fun together. I was trying to figure out if this item was a hotdog or sausage. She didn’t speak English, but I wanted to know if the hotdog was beef. So I pointed to it and said “Moo.” She laughed and shook her head yes and then was trying to think of another animal. I said “oink, oink” she shook her head no, and then said “baaa” and she laughed and shook her head yes. It was pretty funny and we both had a good laugh.

Later, we went for a walk on the pedestrian walkway. Basically, it is a large street with stores on either side. It made me miss Milon so much! He would love this place. I saw a lot of perfect spots to sit and have a beer! There are tons of outdoor restaurant seating and lots of kabob street vendors. My stomach isn’t made of steel so I decided to have a grilled cheese sandwich at the apartment!

The staff in Almaty are wonderful! Marina has called 3 times in 2 days to make sure I am okay and even offered to get me an internet card at 7pm at night! I am so glad I made the decision to come early here. It is exactly what I needed. Almaty is chic, urban and touristy. I have already seen lots of Chinese people with cameras so I feel more like I am on vacation, rather than a mission to get home!

We are running into a little paperwork snafu. My updated I71h was never sent to Kazakhstan so hopefully, Milon can straighten that out before I need to leave. Marina said it was just an email the US Government needs to send, but you know how that goes.

I have a feeling Leah is going to be walking soon. She can now pull up on everything by herself and can stand flat footed holding on with 1 hand. She says “uh oh” every time she drops a toy on the ground.

We have been keeping ourselves very busy. Mainly, only home to sleep and eat! When we get home I think she is grateful to sit and play with her toys quietly since she hadn’t seen them all day!

Milon was able to tell me how to get the DVD player hooked up to the TV. This is great because now Leah can watch Sesame Street and I can watch movies! This is especially important since I don’t have CNN! I am reading another book, but I don’t like this one either!

We went to the SOS clinic today. Leah screamed the entire time because they took her and weighed her! Anytime the doctor came near she would scream. We have a bad case of the mommies right now, but hopefully, once we are at home that will change. She weighs 7.2kg which is almost 16lbs! Getting bigger! Last month she weighed 14lbs so we are doing well. She should be because she eats like a pig! The doctor said everything else sounded fine. Of course, we had a joke that her lungs were perfectly healthy!

Here are some pictures of our new digs.

Almaty Bound

We made it to Almaty safe and sound. Leah woke up at 5am this morning so we had plenty of time to put the final items in the suitcase.

The airplane ride wasn’t too bad. She did not sleep at all, but was generally happy the whole time. She flirted with a lady sitting beside me who didn’t give her the time of day! Leah was fascinated by her sparkly silver shirt and it was all I could do the entire flight for her to not touch it. I passed on the lunch they served, figuring it would be harder to eat than it was worth. I almost had a heart attack before the flight took off. I couldn’t lift the backpack into the overhead compartment and hold Leah. I pointed to the backpack and the overhead compartment and asked the flight attendant to put the backpack in it. She said okay but I never saw her do it. Then, another flight attendant comes by and hands me a checked item ticket. I call the flight attendant over and ask if this was for the stroller. She said yes, and the backpack! I said What! The backpack can’t go under the plane, it has my computer, camera, DVD player and not to mention all my cash! I almost lost it. She went and asked someone something. Came back and found the backpack in an empty row of seats. Whew, I could just imagine now, the crew rambling through the backpack like it was Christmas morning!

I am really thinking of keeping my plane tickets for April 3rd now. My mom and Davis can’t get refunded for their seats since we purchased them with frequent flier miles. That means I have 2 guaranteed extra seats beside me on all 3 flights! I think I will really need the extra room.

I did get a good practice at what the full 19 hours of flying will be like. I have a lot of lessons learned. For one, why did I wear a white long sleeve shirt? That breaks all the rules of mommyhood! No white shirts! Second, I need a short sleeve shirt. I was so hot from the cardio and strength training exercise I was getting from Leah. I am also going to have to lighten the load. Trying to carry Milon’s computer backpack (which weighs as much as I do), a big diaper bag, snowsuit for Leah, my jacket, stroller and a child who won’t sit in the stroller was awful! I had to sit on the luggage in order to lock it but will somehow have to put either the backpack or the diaper bag in the luggage.

Kate (translator) and Marina (coordinator) took me to the apartment. Both speak very good English and are about my age. They promised me they would keep me busy this last week. Tomorrow we have Leah’s SOS clinic appointment. I am not exactly sure what that is, but believe it is a medical clearance she needs to get back in the US. They also said we could go to the mountains one day. I would love that! They said a lady with a young boy will be coming on the 28th and they would introduce us in case we wanted to hang out. Company sounds great to me after being alone for so long!

Our apartment in Almaty is okay. It’s a 2 bedroom apartment. The kitchen is so small I thought for sure it was the “spare” kitchen and not the real one! I do miss the great big kitchen in Aktobe. I am glad it is just me here, because we all would not have managed in this one. I also miss CNN in English! I can’t find it anywhere, although the landlord says I get English Channels. I can’t find any. However, the weather is wonderful! No snowsuits or boots for sure! And I won’t even wear a jacket, however I will put a sweater on Leah.

We ventured to the grocery store to pick up some food. It is a few blocks away, but carrying all the groceries home and up 3 flights of stairs proved to be difficult! I will go to the grocery store again tomorrow to stock up on some more food.

There is a nice pedestrian walkway they said were I could push Leah in the stroller. They said it is very safe here and I could go out at night for a walk. I have learned that strollers are a learned preference and Leah needs some practice. She wants to be held rather than in the stroller!

Here are a few pictures I took from the apartment in Aktobe before we left. Look at the kids playing in a giant mud puddle! This canister I have labeled the "outdoor restroom" for men. They all walk back there to use the bathroom! I guess they don't think anyone is watching.

Our Precious Gift

There is something I am compelled to write about in the blog. Being a Mom. Yes, maybe it’s the red wine I am trying to drink up or maybe it’s the lack of human contact. But either way, I feel it should be documented.

No for me, it is not the first time at motherhood. I still remember Davis being born like it was yesterday. An overwhelming feeling of complete love and devotion. Something I have never felt before. The feeling of complete vulnerability. I still remember taking Davis for a walk in my subdivision and thinking of how I would feel if someone came and stole him. I remember thinking I could truly kill someone for this child…with my bare hands. I felt like a lioness protecting her cub.

I can tell you now how worried I was that those same feelings would not be there for an adopted child. Not that I thought I wasn’t capable, but it was the unknown. How could I possibly love something more than Davis? What if it’s because he is of blood relation? I can tell you now that blood doesn’t matter. I love her in the few days I have been alone with her like I gave birth to her. Hand picked from God, or by my Nanna, as my mom says. My Grandmother recently passed away and my mom always says I have an angel in heaven. I now believe her. Leah is exactly what my grandmother would have handpicked for me. My grandmother loves music and dancing…so does Leah. She always had a smile on her face….so does Leah. She was very funny and a total ham….so is Leah.

There is no doubt in my mind the decision to adopt (and Leah) was my destiny. I tried for many years to change this fate, but ultimately, this was what we were meant to do. It’s funny how when you are in the thick of a problem you can’t see the light at the end. Years later, the revelation happens.

I hope Leah never feels unwanted because her birthmother couldn’t care for her. I hope she feels connected with us and never feels like she missed out on something. I hope she knows how much Milon and I love her and how wanted she really was! This process of adoption is grueling. Truly harder than pregnancy and childbirth itself. I will even add ”my” pregnancy and childbirth!

So as I peer in on her sleeping, on our last night in her birthplace, her hometown, I look around and see what her future could have been. I pray that she and I have a mother-daughter relationship like my mom and I have. I hope she can always come to me and can tell me anything. I hope she knows that unconditionally we love her. I hope she knows that she is our precious gift from God.

Does The Clock Move Slower in Kazakhstan?

Everyday that goes by seems to take longer and longer. I look at the clock and only 5 minutes have past! I am starting to have a harder time entertaining Leah. I am grateful for the Sesame Street DVD because she will watch the whole show. She even cries in the section that is scratched and gets stuck. She has learned to say “uh oh” when it stops!

These are the toys I brought for her to play with…yes, what was I thinking? I brought a few more for Davis, but I underestimated the amount of downtime we would have. I did buy these 2 toys but we both are bored with them now! Leah takes a bath everyday which helps to kill a few minutes. She loves to play in the tube and loves to stick her head under the faucet. This child has no fear. She laughs at this! Davis won’t even do this.

Today I spent the morning cleaning. Leah is afraid of the vacuum. I turned it on today with her on the floor to see what she would do. She screamed and crawled towards me (and the vacuum!). I thought this was a good sign that she sees me as comfort. I can protect her against this evil monster called “The Vacuum.” I hope she gets over this fast because I vacuum at home everyday! I also mopped the floor because of all the spilt milk and apple juice. Now the wavy, peeling, linoleum sparkles like brand new! Then we took the trash out. I really need to take a picture of the dumpsters. I have no idea who takes the trash out of them but generally there is more trash out of them than in. Maybe it’s the animals, but I have also seen a lot of people digging through them. I am not sure if they are after recyclables, or food.

I booked our tickets to Almaty today. It felt good to hit “Buy Tickets!” I am ready for a change of scenery, even if it means being in a hotel for a few days. I have to go to Almaty anyway in order to board the plane home, and it will feel good to know I at least have 1 flight over with!

Ainura came by this afternoon and brought some papers I needed to sign for the consulate appointment in Almaty. She also brought some yummy treats called Zhent. They are a type of treat that seems to be made of corn meal, sugar, butter and raisins. Very different tasting but good. Just as I thought, Leah is glued to my hip. She screamed bloody murder when I handed her to Ainura. We tried twice, but she wanted nothing to do with it. I have a feeling this “bonding” time has worked a little too well creating a false sense of reality. Hopefully, when we get home she will adjust to “reality” as well as she has adjusted to this “false reality.”

On a separate not, I thought this was funny. I looked at my statistics for Solitaire and I have played 539 games! I told you I play a lot!

Happy Kazakhstan New Year!

We woke up to about 3 inches of snow which continued throughout the morning. It is a shame because all of the snow had just melted and it was going to be perfect weather for all of the festivities going on today. They were busy all morning shoveling the snow and plowing to make way for all of the traffic. Leah did not nap well today. The music was very loud and the karaoke scared her (me too)! We did have fun dancing in the kitchen to all the Russian songs. I wanted to go over to see what was happening but it was just too cold and I thought it would be too overwhelming for her. So, we played inside all day with things we probably shouldn’t be playing with (i.e., Xmas wreaths, nail files, phones) but it was a necessary form of entertainment!

I decided it was a good morning to try and make blueberry muffins that my mom had brought. You just add water to the mix. They were a very yummy treat to remind me of home! I have decided I am going to celebrate the Kazakh New Year drinking some white wine and eating a hot dog! Yes, I need to throw a little something American into the mix. I don’t know, maybe it is a subliminal way of protesting all of this Kazakhstan pride. I feel like singing the “Star Spangle Banner” out my balcony window. No really, I think it is great they have such intense national pride around here. I just want to go home!

Leah continues to love the Sesame Street DVD. Her body actually quivers with excitement when she hears the song “Cereal Girl.” It is to the tune of Madonna’s “Material Girl.” The DVD is all about healthy foods. It’s funny because they sing about eating a healthy lunch of a bologna sandwich and a bowl of pasta. Last time I checked I thought bologna was horrible for you and pasta (other than whole wheat) has little nutrition! Yeah, yeah, it’s a DVD from Malaysia!

So what have I been doing with all my spare time you might ask. I am working to become a solitaire world champion. I am quite good I must boost. I also watched the movie “I am Legend” last night. Probably not the best movie to watch all alone in a foreign country. Will Smith is the last survivor on earth, of course, other than the people infected with a rabies-like virus who only come out when it’s dark. I am also reading a book called “Eat, Pray and Love.” It is a rather dumb book but it kills some time. I also have been looking on the internet at short hairstyles which kills a ton of time on dial up! I could spend the entire day pulling up one website. I am “thinking” of cutting it. Mainly because I think someone is going to pull it all out soon! And finally, the rest of my time is spent counting down the days. Yes, I have a calendar that I cross everyday off and count the days left, then recount, then count the best case scenario, then count the worst case scenario, then the next day I do it all over again! As if I don’t remember how many days left from the day before!

Getting Ready for the Big Day...And No I'm Not Leaving

My mom and Davis made it home safe and sound. She said he was a “dream” on the plane. Who knows if she is telling the truth! She said he kept saying how excited he was to sleep in his own bed! Poor fella!

I will be glad to sleep in my own bed also. It is so loud here it’s hard to sleep. Some nights I feel like I am sleeping next to a combination of I95 and Grand Central Station. It is so hot in the apartment that I have to leave the windows open, but that also makes it extra noisy. The bedrooms are located above a busy alley way that is apparently a major cut through between the hours of 12am-3am. It doesn’t really quiet down until 4am! I can’t figure what these people are doing all night! The work day starts much later than in the US. Stores don’t open until 11am and the bus stop doesn’t get busy until 10am.

Tomorrow is a big day around here. It’s the Kazakhstan New Years. They have been making preparations for the big day all week. I have been told that there will be fireworks in the soccer stadium across the street. I can’t imagine how loud it will be Sunday night! They have been building what looks like straw huts in the parking lot and have placed Kazakhstan flags on top of all the stores. You can see them in the picture below. They have banners up which I assume say Happy New Year :>

Here is a picture of them cleaning the streets. Check out the broom the man is using. (Yes, I have become a voyeur out my window.) Here is a closer look at the broom that is in our apartment.

I am amazed at how many children are walking around without parents. I see young kids (around 5 yrs old) walking home from school with friends, going into the mall, crossing busy streets by themselves. I asked Ainura if they had problems with kidnapping around here and she didn’t know what I was talking about. Apparently, they don’t!

Kazakhstan reminds me of the way I assume the US use to be in the 1920’s or 30’s. They are many years behind us. People live very simply here. Everyone dresses up to go to the store…even if it’s the grocery store! They own a nice coat, hat, boots, and purse and 1 nice outfit they wear over and over. Cars are definitely a status symbol. Our driver said that Toyota’s (especially a Prado or land cruiser), BMW’s and Mercedes mean you are loaded. This is mainly a cash society. Credit cards are not common here and I am sure they don’t have the financing available that we have in the US. The women I have met are very quiet and rather reserved. Ainura thinks it’s funny that I can’t imagine not smiling at strangers on the street. She said if you smile at a stranger, they think there is something wrong with them. How strange. What about just being friendly! The grocery store check out girl does smile at me now and the security guards all smile. They were excited to see Leah and I assume they know we just adopted her. They were rambling in Russian, pinching her cheeks so I guess they know she is a new addition!

I spent my down time yesterday making some good old fashion sweet tea! I was in need of some southern comforts of home! Although, I don’t think their tea bags are decaf! I was up all night!

Ask And You Shall Receive

The doorbell rang today and it was Aina, a former LMI translator that lives in my apartment building. A man was with her bringing a crib for me. He came in to put it together. I assume he is a handy man here in Kazakhstan. Best smelling handy man I have seen! He was an older man, maybe in his upper 40’s, dressed in a collared shirt and sweater and nice wool pants. I would die if I had a worker come to my house in the US dressed and smelling like that!

It was very nice of Gulnara to provide a crib for me. I really do appreciate it and it will make Leah much more comfortable. She is squished in the cradle. Now, if she could only provide me with an earlier return date home!! The adoption certificate and Leah’s birth certificate should be back from Astana (the capital) today. I am hoping to hear today or tomorrow when I can leave for Almaty. It will be hard to leave here since I am comfortable, but if I leave I can get an apartment versus a hotel in Almaty which would be more comfortable for us…not to mention we wouldn’t have to eat out all the time. But, I could stay in Aktobe and only go for 2-4 days to Almaty. I have to wait 7-10 days for her US Passport to arrive, but that wait can be done in Aktobe. I have 2 appointments with the US Embassy and the SOS clinic that I have to make in Almaty.

I forgot how easy it is to have an 11 month old! She sleeps so much and when she is not sleeping she is eating. We have been having a lot of quality time playing. Here is a picture of her doing “So Big.” She does this and then claps for herself! After lunch we went to the Alia market and UYM in search of a stroller. I found one for $66 dollars but it would have been $20 in the US! It is very cheap but hey now I can get her off my chest…literally. The ergo baby carrier is great, but doesn’t work well with snowsuits and thick jackets. I just hope the wheels don’t fall off the stroller until I get to RDU! I also bought her 2 toys. One toy attaches to the stroller for something to do while riding and a Xylophone. She loves music so I figured she could bang away and dance.

We went for a little stroll in our new ride until I found out she doesn’t like the wind or sun in her face. Man, these kids are picky aren’t they! So we came back inside. She watched a Sesame Street DVD. She almost watched the whole thing. Every song that came on she would sway. Here she is watching the TV. I wish you could see her dancing and clapping to the songs!

Since the stroller depleted my cash, we went to exchange more money after her nap. I put a blanket over the stroller so there was no sun or wind in her face.

I have been tracking my mom and Davis’ flights. They made it to Germany fine and have a long (7 hr) layover. Hopefully, they both are holding up okay. It is a long haul home and even longer with a 3 yr old!

Abandon Ship

Well, Leah and I are all alone in the Land of Kaz. Davis woke up excited and ready to go. He barely said goodbye to me! I, on the other hand, had a more difficult time seeing them leave. I have never been away from him for this long! But for his sake, I am glad he is getting back to his normal routine, daddy, friends and toys. I have already heard from them and they made it to Almaty safe and sound. They now spend the night in a hotel and leave at 4:10am for the flight home.

I had to go with Ainura last night to a notary. She informed me that Kazakhstan would not allow my mom to leave the country with Davis! I never would have thought of that but Milon called United Airlines and they said she needed a Power of Attorney. Thank you Ainura!! The notary and his friend were 22 yr old guys who were very interested in America! I felt like I was on trial he asked so many questions. If I liked President Obama, Did I like George Bush, What was my religion, How is Kazakhstan different than the US, Did I like Kazakhstan, Why was I adopting from here. He even asked if I would adopt him and take him back to the US with me! He said they don’t get many foreigners here and like to hear about other parts of the world.

It is already easier here. Leah and I spent the most of the day just playing. She is a total ham. I will treasure this alone time with her and feel we will really be able to further bond. Especially since she is use to seeing many faces at the babyhouse. Now she will wake up to just me everyday!

I will admit I will be lonely though. Please keep emails coming so I have something to do! It will also be difficult to get to the grocery store and take the trash out. It is hard to hold her in a snowsuit and carry trash. Actually, it is even difficult to lock the steel door to our apt! I am going to try to do 1 thing everyday. Today, we took the trash out. Whoohoo!

I can’t get over how lucky we are to have her. She is a wonderful baby! She goes to sleep on her own, is happy when she is up, is always trying to get your attention to make funny faces with her! She loves to dance! If you sing she sways with the song! She can imitate any sound or movement you do. She is so smart and inquisitive.

We are already into a routine and she eats like a champ! I really think she eats more in a day than Davis. She is a wonderful chewer. I give her a shortbread cookie and she does great with it! The beef stew she loves is also very chunky. I think she prefers the chunkier texture. Here is our new schedule and she is like clock work!

7:00 Wake up and bottle
7:30 Cereal and fruit
9:00 Yogurt and water
9:30 Naps for 1.5 hrs
11-11:30 play
11:30 Lunch
12-1 Play
1:00 Nap for 2 hours
3:00 Bottle
4:00 fruit
5:30 Dinner (stew and fruit)
6:00 Cookie (while I eat in Johnny jump up!)
7:00 Bottle
7:30 Bed

One Potato, Two Potato

It’s funny to hear my mom’s impressions of Kazakhstan. I guess I have been here for so long it has grown on me and I don’t notice the funny things anymore...or I have lost my sense of humor. She says she is going to kiss the ground once she arrives back in the states!

Check out the potatoes that are sold in the grocery store. Milon and I were not sure if they were potatoes or not the first time we saw them!

For instance, the police sit in their cars on the side of the road and look for speeders. When they see a car, they jump out with a wand a wave them down to pull over. Sometimes the cars stop and sometimes they don’t. We witnessed this first hand when walking home from the grocery store. The cop flagged the car over and person in the passenger side was waving to the driver to keep going! The cop didn’t seem to care.

Also, they use homemade brooms here. My mom saw a man clipping the lower branches of trees and then bunching them together with a long pole in the middle. They would then tie them together with 3 strings to make a broom.

Below is an email from a lady who lived in Kazakhstan for 7 years. She is the sister of a friend of Milon’s from wok. Most of this we witnessed while staying here. It was helpful to have an understanding of this culture before we arrived.


Hello Robert,
Yes, my brother Scott told me that you would be writing to us and I looked forward to hearing from you. We lived in Shymkent, Kazakhstan (southern K-stan) for 7 years. First of all I would like to say congratulations on your upcoming adoption! I am always thrilled when I hear people are adopting from Kazakhstan. I have been in many orphanages there and it is wonderful that some children will have the opportunity to escape their situation. Generally children living in orphanages will be "released" at age 13-16, and will be completely on their own. While living in K-stan my husband and I helped an American couple during their adoption of two children. We went to court with them and saw how the process works. I am assuming you will have a representative from the adoption agency there with you to assist with these things and also translate for you. I am curious, do you know the ethnicity of the child you are adopting? Is she Kazak, Russian, or something else? Depending on your answer I can give you additional advice/suggestions.
As for your questions... First of all, we've never visited Western K-stan where you will be going, but from what I understand it is pretty similar to the area we lived in. (the majority of the population of Aqtobe is Kazak, just like Shymkent) So I hope the advice I'm giving you is accurate and helpful. As for safety concerns, I was never nervous about living in Kazakhstan and I felt perfectly safe. However, if your wife and son are staying in Aqtobe by themselves, I would suggest that you choose a good neighborhood and choose an apartment that is NOT on the first floor or the top floor. Apartments on these floors get broken into more often. Also make sure the apartment has a good door with good locks. I am sure that the adoption agency rep. will see to all of these things for you. It is a city, just like a city in the US, so normal safety precautions would be good to remember (like don't go out at night, lock your doors, etc.) I would also find out if there are other ex-pats (American or European) living in the area who might be able to provide help or companionship.

As for gifts, yes, they like all things American. One thing I would suggest is to avoid anything that has the words "Made in China" written on the tags. China exports all its worst quality things to K-stan, so the locals always associate China with very poor quality (junk). We've taken all kinds of things as gifts... T-shirts (if made in the US or somewhere other than China), scented candles, make-up, toys, hair accessories for little girls, candy, photo books about the USA, postcards, posters, jewelry, etc.

Yes, there are pre-paid phone cards. I don't know if they'll work with your US cell phone or not, but since you work for a cell phone company, you would know! :-) I would suggest buying them there since you know it will work. We didn't use cell phones for calling the US, we had a landline phone with a special plan for calling the US. The phone system there is terrible, so cell phones might be better. If you use the regular phone company (Kaz Telecom) it will be very expensive to call the US. You can also you skype if you have a good internet connection somewhere. (which isn't garunteed) Cell phones are very popular there and they sell phones and cards everywhere.

As for cultural tips... the Kazak and Russian cultures are quite different (no matter what the people themselves might say about it). We are most familiar with the Kazak culture, since we spoke Kazak and spent the majority of our time with them. Personally, I think they are a fascinating culture, and there is a lot to tell, but I will try to keep it brief. The Kazaks are Muslim, but usually in name only. They are generally more superstitious than anything else (though there may be an exceptions of course). Russians also have superstitions. it is impossible to tell about all of them, but one of the common ones that Americans have trouble with is the handshake in the doorway. They do not like to shake hands over the threshhold of a door (it is bad luck). Also, they do not like lots of compliments about people, especially about babies, since it invites the attention of the evil eye. I have heard people say, "Oh what an ugly baby!" which is understood to mean the opposite, but will trick the evil eye. They often pin safety pins with black and white beads on them to a baby's clothing, or hang amulets or feathers on babies to ward off evil spirits. I personally never called anyone's baby "ugly" but I did avoid comments on beauty altogether. I just asked questions about the baby's age, developmental milestones, etc. or gave compliments on clothing or something. You may also notice that people may not have the bottom half of the baby covered. They generally do not use diapers. They train infants to pee at the signal of a certain sound, and they are constantly taking them to the toilet. In the last few years more "modern" mothers buy pampers (individually) for special occasions or when taking trips to stores or restaurants. Russian babies are also potty trained very early, but they seem to use diapers more readily than Kazak mothers. If a baby has a birthmark, it is given an automatic name "Anara" which means pomengranite... t his name is supposed to help "heal" the baby from its birthmark. (Just a warning in case your adopted girl has a birthmark)

Another major thing to remember is that you should always remove your shoes before entering a person's home. when you enter a doorway, look to see if people's shoes are lying there, which means you should remove yours. People are offended if you wear your shoes into their home. I don't know what the custom will be inside the orphanage. Another thing that was hard for me to learn, is that blowing one's nose in public is not polite. You can wipe with a tissue discretely, but not opening blowing. It is more polite to hold one side of your nostril and blow onto the sidewalk (though I never could bring myself to do that). Also you may observe lots of people spitting on the sidewalks... I know its gross but it happens. Be careful where you walk! Also, be careful your little toddler doesn't touch things.... there will probably be broken glass and other trash lying around. (they aren't particularly good about litter)

A few general observations about culture... they are very hospitable and like to spend time talking and drinking tea. A guest is taken very seriously. They will even not go to work or cancel all other plans for an unexpected guest. They are NOT time oriented at all. Nothing is done efficiently. It can be very annoying as you wait for things to get done. There is also a bribery system in place which can make things get more drawn out. People usually do not wait in proper lines.... its more of a mass of people. They like to shop at the bazaar, which is an market place. It is a very interesting place to see, so I would suggest you visit at least one time (but make sure you don't have anything valuable on you since there are lots of pick-pockets and beggars). They usually haggle prices and will initially quote you a ridiculous price. Since you won't have the language, stick to prices that are written down on items. usually the sellers all have calculators, or you can bring one so that you can show the price on it. The police are very particular about cameras... if you are taking pictures in a public place they might ask you to stop. I would try it and then just claim ignorance. :-) Also people like to have their picture taken, though they liked to be asked. You can communicate a lot without knowing the language. Also, you'll notice that most people do not smile for pictures.

Be prepared to be stared at. People can tell you are different, and many people have never met an American. They may motion at you, or talk about you or even to you. Also, they will think you are crazy if you walk around smiling at strangers on the sidewalk or on public transportation. As for clothing, people may be poor, but they spend a lot of time and energy on looking good. They may only have one or two nice outfits, but they will wear those outfits every day.... and usually 3-4 days in a row. People wear their nice outfit to work or school, and then come home and wear their "house clothes" or robes. They may or may not wash their nice outfit in between wearings. The ultra casual clothes most americans wear is strange to them. The women always look like they are going to a party... high heels, and dressed up. The younger girls do wear jeans, but they are not the torn, faded jeans of American teens. The guys usually wear dress shoes or nice sneakers. If you go in August, it may still be hot, so bring sandals. Women generally do not wear shorts unless they are in their home (though girls will wear them). Men sometimes wear long shorts. The ladies do wear capris in the summer and skirts or sundresses.

Other things... Usually they do not flush their used toilet paper down the toilet. They put it in a basket next to the toilet. I know its a strange (and gross) thing... but apparently the Soviet pipes can't handle the paper. Some newer, more modern apartment buildings have the capability, so maybe you won't have this problem. Also, many toilets in restaurants and at the mall, airports, etc. may be what we call "squatty potties." Which are toilets in on the ground where you squat to go. These can be challenging if you aren't used to them. You also need to pay to use them in most public situations (only 10-20 tenge). Also, you may have a stove or oven that you need to use matches to light. (they use gas) the milk that is sold door to door or on the street in front of your house is not pasturized, so keep that in mind. its easier to buy it at the store in boxes. Whatever you buy at the bazaar you should clean before eating, including rice, raisens, and other dried fruit. Be careful eating food from street vendors (you don't want to spend the whole time there being sick). No matter what you do you may have some intestinal disruptions. Be sure to bring immodium with you. I would also bring little packs of tissues to use as toilet paper in some instances. And bring hand sanitizer. Toddlers are allowed to go to the bathroom anywhere... along the street, sidewalks, anywhere. So if your 2 1/2 year old is recently potty trained, you don't need to worry... any bush or corner will work.

One last thing.... most people in Kazakhstan do not understand why Americans would want to come and adopt their orphans or abandoned kids. there is a cultural stigma about adopting and so they don't understnad why anyone would adopt a child who doesn't look like them. If they adopt, they usually keep it a secret from everyone. There is a prevalent rumor that Americans adopt foreign children to use them for organs or "spare parts". It is a horrible lie, but you may be faced with the question of WHY you want to adopt from there. In the past I have explained to our Kazak friends how difficult it is to adopt inside the US, and how many Americans want to help babies from other countries to have a chance at a better life.

This letter has turned into a long one. i am sure there are things I haven't remembered to say or that have created more questions in your mind. If you know the ethnicity of your baby girl, I may have more suggestions for when you are facing the court. Please feel free to write again. I really hope that your adventure to Kazakhstan goes well and I'm willing to help in whatever way I can.


On a different note, we have decided that my mom and Davis are leaving tomorrow (Thurs). They will arrive back in the US on Friday night. Davis has had enough of playing with 5 toys. We have exhausted our DVD selection and our imagination. Below is a picture of Davis as a Hockey player. The other day we were fishing with a race track, string and an olive as bait. Yes, we are all bored….but only 2 can go home! Davis woke up this morning with a big grin and asked if today’s the day we are going to the airport. The Johnny Jump Up is the only reason Leah is not bored! It was the best thing we brought!

I will be here for 2 weeks more. I have different dates I am being told that I can leave for Almaty. March 24th and March 27th. It depends on when the paperwork in completed. I am comfortable in Aktobe but would like a change of scenery.