Expanded Parameters

With much thought we have decided to up our age to 3ish. We are still requesting a girl and still healthy with only minor correctable needs. We have expanded our parameters, but would take an infant in a heartbeat as well! We are on deck for whichever comes first!!

We love having a 3 yr old and in fact 2.5 yrs + has been our favorite age so far. I love the fact that when we meet her she will already be a little person, with her own personality, likes and dislikes. She will instantly be able to fit into our family and lifestyle! Davis and I take daily walks, ride bikes, go to the park and she will be able to join us and have a great time also.

We realize that toddler adoption and virtual twinning will pose a separate set of challenges. Virtual twinning is 2 children whose ages are within 9 months of each other, who are not genetically related that are raised together as siblings. I have read a lot of literature on this topic and it is overall not usually suggested. However, most of the literature is focused on adopting 2 same aged children at one time or adopting and having a biological infant at the same time. This is much different than what we are doing. We have a happy, attached, stable 3 yr old now and will be adding a child who will need more attention (cognitive, language development, social, etc) than he currently requires. I do believe Davis will be ecstatic to have someone to play with and will not see her as a threat in any way. He is a very talkative, outgoing child and meets friends everywhere we go. Needless to say, I know we will have issues, but I don't foresee making the decision to adopt a child the same age to be anything we can't handle. I also take comfort in having the knowledge of how a normal 3 yr old acts.


Doesn't he reek with happiness??



We are also excited about spending time in Aktobe with Davis and our new child. Having Davis will be a great ice breaker for all of us! We will have a solid 4 hours a day at the orphanage to have uninterrupted play! That doesn't happen too often at home and we look forward to this time to spend with each other.

Arrrggghhh! November?

Our agency is guessing we will travel in early November. This stinks for a lot of reasons.
1) It is far away 2) it is far away 3) our adoption won't be complete this tax year....will have to wait until next year to get the tax credit 4) we are entering the never ending Kazakhstan holidays (see below) 5) it will be freezing 6) entering the flu, cold, sickness season 7)we will miss all the holidays! 8)did I mention it's far away??

Days off will be:
December 16 to 22
December 16th is Independence day of Kazakhstan
December 20th is Muslim Holiday Ait
December 31 to January 7
January 1st is a New Year day
January 7th is Russian Christmas

The only good news is we will be very busy between now and then. Davis' 3rd birthday is Sept 29th so we are busy planning his party. Nothing major, just some friends over for dinner and to play. Geez, I can't believe I have a 3 yr old already! We have Halloween which we are already having dress rehearsals for. Yes, we went to the park yesterday dressed as Spiderman! Milon and I are going to try and be Dr Octopus and the Green Goblin. Then we have our cousin Carson's birthday and by then we should have the LOI!! I know time will fly by so I am just trying to keep that in mind but still can't help wondering if every phone call might be "the one"!!

On a separate note, last week I started to sleep better....without any drugs!! That is huge for me! I really think I have let all of this adoption stuff go. I am at the point of being fed up and just tired of worrying if that makes sense. I am trying to focus on life (which is still hard to do but I must be doing a better job)!

The New Kazakhstan

First and foremost....We still don't have any news that we are able to share. I can't go into much detail at this point but will share more when I can.

Kazakhstan is changing everyday as far as adoptions go. We have dodged a lot of bullets so far and are hoping that we continue to be so lucky until our adoption is complete! Kazakhstan decided that they no longer are allowing gender selection but grandfathered those in whose dossiers were already in Kazakhstan....(dodged that one..) They also decided that they are not processing any more dossiers that haven't already gone to the consulate until further notice (bullet number 2 dodged!). I am hoping that we don't get anything else that we can't dodge but with Kazakhstan these days you just don't know.

It has been exactly 1 year since we mailed our application in and I thought by now we would have been done and probably would have been had we been 6 months earlier sending in our application! With all of the resent countries closing to adoptions (Guatemala, Vietnam, Nepal, China being a 4 yr wait, etc) everyone is flooding the available countries...which is perfectly normal.

No News...

The only thing we have learned in the past few weeks is that we are the next family to leave for Aktobe (boy or girl). From what we have been told there are not any girls available right now but they continually come off of the registry. This part is definitly the hardest part of adoption. Not knowing when...not even having a ballpark date (unlike when your pregnant!). I continually check our voicemail from home and bring my cell phone everywhere...just in case.

All of our paperwork is completed and we have everything we need to pack stored in her room. The majority of the things we have gathered are to feed and entertain Davis. I wrapped dollar store toys so he can open them on the airplane. Yes, it will make a mess but he is very slow at opening presents...hence an extra 5 mins added on to the toys lifespan?? I also got some really cool spiderman transformers that will only come out if we are desperate to speak with someone in Kazakhstan. I am mainly thinking of the first day of meeting our child and speaking with the orphanage director and doctor. As I was sitting wrapping all of these toys, I realized it's going to be an even longer ride home since I won't have a huge stash surprises for him. Hopefully, we can pick up some toys with out him seeing while we are in Kaz.

We figured we have to be gone by Sept 11 or we won't be home for Christmas. That would really stink for Davis. I am not sure if Santa Clause would make it to Kazakhstan given it's a Muslim country. Of course he is clueless of dates so maybe we could have a pretend Christmas when we get home. Geez, I wish I didn't get rid of that fake tree!

Hopefully, my next post will be some exciting news. Especially given I don't write that often!

I want a million of this!

I went into Davis' room last night to check on him before I went to bed and this is what I saw. Called Milon and grabbed the camera! Ahh, there is nothing sweeter than the sight of a sleeping child....especially when he has my husbands favorite Giants hat on!

I walk by her room all smothered in pink and wished I had another one to tuck in! I leave a nightlight on in her room b/c I just can't bear to walk past a pitch black room. For some reason the nightlight represents hope!

I don't think I have mentioned this before but we would love to have a bunch of kids. Milon says he wants a baseball team. I am not sure if that will happen due to the 2 F's....finances and fertility. If one of these weren't a factor I would love to have...maybe 4?? We are going to try to have 3 somehow or another....

I have already been "looking" into the next adpotion. Country pickins are slim and getting slimmer every day as countries close to adoption. Milon wants to adopt from Nepal so he can see Mt. Everst :> That would be really cool! I would love to go to Vietnam so maybe by the time we are ready to do it again they will be open!

We will focus on just trying to complete this adoption for now!

Babyproofing the pond

Milon is spending today putting a wire fence around our coy pond. I have been fearful of this pond since we moved in and we are finally (1 yr later) doing something about it. Davis loves to play outside and I generally will do some internet surfing while he's outside since his swingset and trampoline are in my line of sight. The pond is insight also but I am too paranoid about him falling in to even take a chance. (I have really been getting into blog stalking these days:>)





Davis is taking swim lessons everyday for 2 weeks. It's a commitment and I am hoping he at least learns to float. We've been going for 1 week now and he's a lot more comfortable in the water, but hasn't managed to get his head wet yet. I think he spends more time on the toilet than he does in the water! For some reason we make endless trips to pee....the water must be really cold.


Here is a picture of Milon and Davis swimming at a friends pool.











On the adoption front, all of our paperwork is finished, notarized and apostilled. I even have our visa pictures and crisp money which I thought was going to be hard to get and turned out to be easy! I love Pam at our bank! Now, we are just waiting and waiting and waiting.


We have decided to make 2 trips. We will go on the 1st trip for our 2 week bonding period and then come home for 6 weeks. Then return for the remainder of the time. Maybe around 5-6 weeks?? The decision was easy b/c Kazakhstan just implemented a rule that we have to stay during the appeal period after court which is 2 weeks. At that time we get custody of her. There is no way I could then send her back to the orphanage when she could be with us! My mom has offered to go since Milon cannot take that much time off of work. I am glad to have the company and the help entertaining Davis. I am also excited for her to see where her grandaughter was born.


This adoption is making me concour all of my fears. I HATE to fly....and I really hate to fly with a 3 yr old. I am a total nervous wreck on a plane. I also HATE being away from home. I have taken 1 trip where I didn't want to come home and that was to Bermuda. I could live their forever! No matter where we go I want to return home the second we get there. To stay in a country that long will kill me but it would do the same to leave her. And then there is the biggest fear of all.. the whole picking out your child, the possible medical conditions, etc part of the adoption process that I am deathly afraid of.


Hmmmm....maybe I have just diagnosed myself as having an anxiety problem...hence the not sleeping???

Just Passing Time

I have come to the conclusion that I need to keep really busy or this wait will make me crazy. So as any woman would do when she is bored I have decided to clean...I mean really clean. I called ZeroRez in to clean the carpets, tile, and air ducts. No, I am not hiring people to clean but this has given me the motivation I need. The carpets look brand new and I realized I have white grout instead of brown!!

I have had terrible insomnia since we moved in this house 1 yr ago. I swear it is something in the house and don't tell many people that to avoid seeming crazy! I take something EVERY night to sleep and my drugs of choice are Tylenol PM, Advil PM, Benadryl, or Sominex. I just finished a 7 day trial of Ambien which didn't work any better. I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep! I am having the airducts cleaned to see if that will help...wishful thinking but I am willing to try anything!

I am trying to get in shape during this dreadful wait as well. I don't mean lose weight, but get more energy. I started yesterday by riding bikes to the park with Davis on the back. This morning I ran 3 miles and felt like I was going to die. I am the worst runner ever but am hoping it gets easier.

No, news on the adoption front other than the fact I learned I should have been collecting brand new crisp dollars from the bank along time ago. Apparently, banks are only issued new money ever so often so I might have a harder time getting this since I am late starting.

I have gotten the rest of the documents done that are needed for travel. It includes more medicals, more fingerprints, police clearance, tax returns, employer statements, etc.

Milon is concerned about his travelling b/c he will need to be in the country when we get the LOI in order to send his passport away to get our visas. I guess he will have to stop travelling maybe in August (oh darn).